Cognition

Its been a while since I posted something on tumblr. But since I actually have the time to write something out, I might as well type out whatever the hell I’m thinking right now.

“I’m good at what I do”

• I tend to take aspects of my life and find a way to correlate it to one another. My biggest issue in life is not knowing “why” things happen. And so I constantly find myself asking “why” all the time. When I first got into nursing school, I carried a lot of doubt with me. I actually didn’t believe in myself. I actually didn’t think I would get this far. But life works in the weirdest of ways. As corny as it sounds, I’m starting to feel like I was born to for this kinda stuff. I love it and I love everything about it. A lot of people go into the field because of the money and because its a “family tradition.” You see, I feel like some sort of force has drawn me into this mess. Growing up as a kid, I never really wanted to be in the health field. However, I realized that I’m really good at this nursing stuff. I’m good at being an advocate and I’m good at taking information that I’ve learned and using it to figure out how to save a life. Because that’s what it all comes down to at the end of the day. Its not about the exam or the grade, but the fact that I’m studying to potentially save a life. For some odd reason, everything that I’ve learned about the art of nursing comes so naturally to me. And I think that’s what makes this field so special to me. The fact that nursing is an art form in itself. How? Well like most things in art, it takes great level of skill and knowledge to work with something so complex. In my case, we need to understand the nature and the complexity of a human being. Which we all know is something that is not easily understood because how often do hear people say that they don’t understand people? Probably a lot lol. And even with a great level of skill and knowledge, its hard to stay complacent in the field because of its complexity. I enjoy the fact that there is always something new to learn in nursing and I feel that a lot of people are afraid of learning once they’ve reached a level of expertise. In my perspective, I will always be a student of life and I have no problem with learning new ways to save a life.

• Now my experiences with nursing can also be related to dance. I’ve carried a lot of doubt with me when I first started dancing. Never did I ever think that I would make it this far with my dancing. I know now that I’m good at whatever I do and I enjoy expressing myself as a dancer. I love being able to communicate through non-verbal communication because, sometimes, that’s all you need to understand a person. Sometimes, dance is all I need to free myself from the chains of life. Just like how I will always be student in the art of nursing, I was always be a student in the art of dance. Dance is never the same thing, and if it were, then I wouldn’t be dancing anymore. I can literally wake up one day and learn how to move my body in ways that I never thought were possible, or feel music in a way that I never thought I could. Its amazing how dancers can take something so simply and make it look so complex. I love it because there are only a few people in this world who truly understand what it feels like to connect through dance. I call these people my fellow dancers. As dancers, we are able to reach to people in a way that most people can’t. Many people think that dancers dance just for the hell of it. That’s why I tend to keep my dance life a secret. When people found out that I dance, the first thing they ask me to do is something “flashy” and I feel that doing so would make my vision of dance very jaded. I actually don’t like showing off my talent unless it’s for a true purpose. Other than, I will never want to dance for someone who wants to see something “cool” because it defeats the purpose of why I dance in the first place. But what makes dance so special to me is its endless art form. There are so many different ways to dance that its difficult to digest everything all at once. But like most things in art, its hard for those who do not dance to understand the reasons for why I personally dance in this world. Which is perfectly fine with me because that’s what art is all about. Figuring out how dancers can take something so simply (Ex. verbal communication) and making it into something so complex (Ex. non-verbal communication). 

As you can see, I tend to find ways to correlate nursing and dance because they both essentially revolve around the same concept. One of my major goals in life is to follow in the foot-steps of those “dancing-nurses.” They inspire me because they make a great impact on many lives about every second of the day. So when people ask me what I’m going to school for, I tell them that I go to school to become a dancing-nurse lol. 

…since my I’ve been on tumblr. I’ve randomly decided to take time and unwind just for a little while before finals come along. 

Anyways, I’ve made a new blog solely dedicated to my experiences as a student nurse. God has blessed me with so many opportunities in the past and all I’ve been wanting to do lately is just blog about my experiences. I still have a long road ahead of me and I think it’ll be good for me (and hopefully for others as well) to express my thoughts and feelings throughout my journey. Anyways, here’s the link:

http://eyesofastudent.tumblr.com/

Feel free to follow if you’d like =]

“Anything in life that’s real will take time to built. Luck is when preparation and opportunity meet and I feel that I’m slowly getting prepared for a lot of opportunities coming my way. And when they do come, I feel like I’m going to be ready for all the luck that’s going to happen. I took a lot of risks and sacrificed everything I had financially, but I feel that big things happen when you’re at your lowest point. Things are always hard in the beginning, but I feel that it will come back to me a hundred times greater. I just gotta keep putting the work in even if I don’t get enough out of it.” - Words inspired by The Illz

Why? Because the hardest choices are the ones that really make the man. 

Sometimes, I feel like I’m not here. I say this because I stuck and I can’t seem to make whatever I envisioned in my sleep into something of definite belief. Something inside me feels the need to make a change in my life. A wise man told me once that this life we live will hold no meaning if we remain indecisive. He told me to take a chance, turn my life around, and change the plans. I can recall not too long ago of how I took a risk and asked this particular lady out to be my girlfriend. Who would have ever thought that I’d fall in love again? I also took the risk and applied for a highly competitive nursing program without having a back up plan if I hadn’t gotten in? Who would have ever thought that I’d get in? Now with all of that said, I’m about to take the next biggest risk in my life. Some may see it as I’m quitting, but I view as an opportunity to grow into something much more. Yes, I may struggle for a while, but sometimes, we just gotta trust our instincts and say that everything is going to be alright. Like Steve Job once mentioned, you can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking backward. I find myself constantly asking questions about life and discovering the answers by simply connecting the dots of my past. A good friend of mine told me once that I was lucky.. I didn’t what she meant until another friend of mine explained how she meant that I was blessed. I can’t seem to recall his exact words, but he pretty much meant that my work ethic would get me far in life. To be honest, I almost cried tears of joy. It just felt good to know that someone acknowledged my personality. People have always wondered why I have this certain drive inside me, and I never knew what to tell them. I feel like it’s just who I am as a human being. Is it bad to say that I enjoy working hard and putting some meaning into my life? For a while I’ve been stuck between my wants and my needs and I still can’t define the difference between the two because things constantly change in life. But if there is this one thing backing up this decision of mine, it would be the simple fact that I only have one life to live and I won’t let any parameters hold me back from refraining my thoughts. I’m done trying to make them understand because if they never did, then they never will. So as of next semester, I will be saying my goodbyes and I don’t plan on ever coming back again. Its time to move on to better opportunities to better my future and stray away from all of the negativity and unwanted stress. By the end of December, I will be saying fuck you Perkins Restaurant and Bakery, but thank you for the opportunity to grow as a human being. Yeahhhhh, I may want the money to pay off my bills, but I need my sanity to enjoy the little things in life.

I’m rarely on tumblr, but I need to get this across to certain people.

This bullying shit needs to stop. Words can’t explain how appalled I am at some of things I read on the news. I’ll admit that I wasn’t the best human being growing up, but sometimes we need to live in the dark in order to see the light. We learn from our mistakes. However, what I don’t understand is how some people can continue to bully others despite of all these reoccurring suicide attempts. It’s like they remain oblivious to the values of respect and what it means to treat others the way you want to be treated. I don’t know. It just pisses me off because I’ve been bullied growing up as a child and it hurts to see people take their own life away. I ask myself everyday, “What if that were me?” Have people forgotten empathy and what it means to put things into perspective? Sighhhh. I empathize for those who currently go through it because its not easy to endure. That shit fucks with you mentally and emotionally. I may be 20 years young, but my cognition exceeds most human beings in my generation. I know that for a fact because I still hear about people my age bullying others. Its a damn shame, and it sucks to know that most people are too busy with their lives to pay any mind to these tragic events. People talk about money issues when life itself holds no value. In my perspective, there’s nothing more important in life than life itself so please don’t destroy it.

Actions speak louder than words. I know its wrong and revenge is all in the lord’s hands, but if I ever saw a bully in action… I’m gonna step in and do something about it. Even if it meant giving my life up. Yeahh, I said it..